Communication is much more than just the words that we speak, it can be both verbal and non-verbal. Often times, we’re communicating more than we’re saying. As a matter of fact, our non-verbal communication is far more meaningful than the words we use. We can break down communication into 3 areas: Words (7%), Tonality (38%), and Physiology (55%).
Why Rapport building is important?
It is that when people are like each other, they tend to like each other. The ability to relate to others in a certain right way will help create trust and understanding. It is the ability to see each other’s point of view, you don’t have to like or agree with their point of view, but it will make any form of communication easier. Rapport is a process of responsiveness, and not necessarily “liking”. It supports agreement, alignment, likeness, or similarity.
By emphasizing likeness, similarities, commonalities, resistance and potentially rejection will generally dissipate if not disappear. Most business decisions based on rapport rather than technical merit. We are more likely to buy from, agree with, or support someone you can relate to than someone you can’t.
How does Rapport establish?
By matching and/or mirroring the 3 areas of communication mentioned above. In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Program) this is called “pacing and leading”. Below are the major elements of these areas that can be easily “paced”:
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Physiology (55%)
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Tonality (38%)
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Words (7%)
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Pacing
What is Pacing? By definition, it is the process of moving as the other person moves, joining them in their model of their world. Eventually, it will reduce the difference between yourself and others at unconscious level.
Leading
What is Leading? Once you successfully “paced” the other party, established rapport and shown that you understand where they are coming from then you can “lead” them. Leading is when you use the influence that you have built up from pacing for them to follow you.
Crossover Mirroring
What is Crossover Mirroring? It is when you match one part of the body with another part of the body, for example: breathing with finger tapping).
In Summary
Rapport is a way to connect with another person. It’s about connectiveness, trust, and responsiveness. When we establish communication this way, we will be able to communicate more effectively and more efficiently. When the other person sees, hear or feel something that they like in you (or from you), something that they can relate to their own experiences, behaviour or language, it will put that at ease and as a result they’ll let their guard down and making it possible for you to help and support their needs. Remember, mirroring is NOT the same with mimicking!
Rapport building is a crucial step and critical foundation in pretty much everything we do both on personal and professional level.
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